I found these phrases whilst surfing the Internet. They are not exactly politically correct, but I found them funny!
- A bird in hand makes it hard to blow nose.
- Don't drink and park - accidents cause people.
- Elevator smell different to midget.
- Even the greatest of whales is helpless in middle of desert.
- He who sitteth on an upturned tack shall surely rise.
- He who thinks only of number one must remember this number is next to nothing
- It takes many nails to build a crib but one screw to fill it.
- Man standing on toilet is high on pot.
- Man who behaves like an ass will be the butt of those who crack jokes.
- Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
- Man who farts in church sits in his own pew!
- Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
- Man who fishes in other man's well often catches crabs.
- Man who lives in glass house should masturbate in basement.
- Man who put head on railway track to listen for train likely to end up with splitting headache.
- Man who stick foot in mouth get athlete's tongue!
- Man who tells one too many light bulb jokes will soon burn out!
- Man with one chopstick go hungry.
- Marriage is like game of poker. You start with pair and end with full house.
- Passionate kiss like spider's web, soon lead to undoing of fly.
- Secretary not permanent fixture until screwed on top of desk
- Support bacteria -- it's the only culture some people have!
- Virginity like bubble, one prick all gone.
- War doesn't determine who is right, war determines who is left.
- When called an idiot, it is sometimes better to be quiet, than open one’s mouth and remove all doubt.
- Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse.
- Confucius say too damn much.
other blogs by Robert Bovington:
"you couldn't make it up!"
"a grumpy old man in